Today I am posting my tribute to Sonja. For those of you who don't know her, Sonja is a fun-loving gal whose been a pal since about third grade. Due to the longevity of our friendship, we tended to blow off studying for exams to either play tennis or reminisce. During freshman year of college, I stumbled across a conversation that we had reminscing about all those good times from elementary school to graduation. Then I turned it into a condensed listing, and voila. My tribute to Sonja in blog-form. Sonja leaves for Ireland in the next few days (okay, I think she leaves tomorrow! Or Wednesday!)...so this is an entirely appropriate time to post this! Happy reminiscing!

The Perfect Procrastination Tool - Tennis...
Exam week is the perfect time to take up a new hobby – tennis…When I become a teacher, my exam is going to be to tie your shoes – if you tie, you pass, if you don’t, you FAIL…There are 33 questions, 3 points apiece, with one extra point for spelling your name correctly…Ditching WIN to play Egyptian Rat Fuck in the hallway…Girl scout camp – Pippin & Hawkeye…I dress like this because Elaine can’t be the only slut around here…Three words: FLOOR HOCKEY UNIT…I think I hear my mother calling!!…What, does it look like a penis??…It’s a CLAY joint…S-ON-YA, um, my name is Sonja, Oh, I’m sorry S-ON-YA…Remember our duet??…My sister once called her Mrs. Mellenpoop and she heard…I wonder what would happen if I called her up again and asked for lessons…I sit and watch as tears go by – a great song at 3:30 in the morning on Oldie 95.7 FM, WZTR, especially since we requested it!…Snow White is one fucking scary movie…Winter Experience! Outdoor Ed! Let’s get stuck in the mud…If you smoke tobacco bacco bacco your lungs will turn blacko blacko blacko…Beautiful beautiful bats BATS bats BATS…Sonja lives in Whitefish Bay…Wildebeest Cole and her ugly lipstick…Alexy and his manly man undershirts…Ruslan and the class nerd reunion…In Ruslan talk, TH = Z…Sonja plays her clarinet on the streets of Paris…I’ve got a paper cut! Where’s the blood? Right here, wait, look, here! Yes! Here! BLOOD!…The Gift of the Magi – Robyn, I love you! Sonja, I love you!…Ms. J-Barf…Remember that supervisor who looked like Cody from Step by Step…Actually, just remember all the supervisors?…Come along you freaking bastard, come along and sing a song with me…Hello, my name is Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich…Playing Bloody Mary in the bathroom behind the old cafeteria…Graveyards make great field trips…I used to get high off smelly markers. I licked the mint one once…If you put on my glasses, I’ll kick you!…Mr. Knop (heavy slur)…Ride the cart around the room!!…Canyon Shultz…Pemelia Zurcough…passing notes in gum wrappers…Dan Felix put Willy Morris in the trash can!!!…Why do you get negative numbers when you add negatives numbers? Just do as she says and don’t question!…Tina Bertram = ewwww…Mr. Poz!!!!!!!…Fried plantains leads to a stove fire…Future city and JASON days…If you think speed make you run faster you stupid!…Please hold your 3rd hour class until further notice…Andy Stefanich…Andy Staff…Stars, flowers, and smiley faces…I just snorted!…Mr. Ballman and his dirty hands…Mr. Hallogen with his eyes that popped out of his head when he talked…Aaron Cobb!! Stupid Roxanne…Cheese fest!…Last of the Mohicans on newsreel…The next election is in 1972…French toast stix, mexican pizza, peaches, pears, mixed fruit, chicken nuggets, uncooked french fries, barbeque sauce, hamburgers, corn dogs, and a quarter in your lunch bag for milk…Action 911!… “Escape” from the fake house…Q papers, Q is for quality…BABES skits…practice your penmanship and your cursive writing…new crayons, new markers, every year…Trip to the zoo…Mrs. Lehman used to shake people…Each game, of chess means there’s one less variation, left to be played…Children’s choir in Hungarian…Peter Maris…Jesus Christ Superstar!!!!…Hey! did you hear that bass clarinet note? That’s me!…Listen for the pit orchestra…M&M fights!!!…popcorn at Adriane’s…Clint Piper…Can we put a picture of Uranus up while we’re playing the piece? No, I don’t think people would like to see my anus. Yeah, you’re right, I don’t think the stage is big enough…Tyler & James crawl up to the skylight in band concerts…Six dukes went fishing, and they found a seventh duke floating in the lake, he drowned. Eew! Mr. T – come on!…Alex learns to play the alto clarinet…I think Bandology might have been a minor hit in the 50s…I left my clarinet assembled in the band room during out bomb threat!…Running one lap, walking one lap, instead of running four laps, hey it works…Getting lost in Chicago…why are you so mean? Peer pressure…Murder mystery parties!!…Fornication Under Consent of the King…Sour note awards (Beano)…camp, camp, camp…If the girl scouts sold those cookies every day of the year they’d be the richest bastards in the world…Alex Hillard and the OJ trial…High school = bullshit…Start spelling color “colour,” It will make you seem cultured…Great question because I’m drunk as a skunk right now!…And of course…Right now I’m “sleeping” dreaming about the person I love – ME!! I can’t wait to see myself in 21 days when I go home – I bet I’ll be really really really hot! “Sleeping” would be so lonely if I didn’t have to do it alone. Someday I’ll be in the trailer parks with the man I love and we’ll be poor as hell, but at least we’ll have each other…I guess…You can NEVER turn down a triple dog dare!

Ahhh...memories!
- posted by L. @ 11:57 PM