Happy Graduation!
Aaah, the big day arrives. I'm in a much better mood than I was yesterday, though that doesn't mean I'm not hurting inside, because pretty sure I still am. I know I'm going to go through this all later today, and I really don't want to. But c'est la vie. Tonight I get to talk to him, and hopefully make a lot of things all better, not for good, but for better. I don't want to be thinking about this in a negative light when I go to Ohio.
Anyway.
I'm so proud of all my friends who are graduating! I am so happy for all of them, but I know I'm going to miss them terribly. Nobody ever said this was going to be easy - this is the hardest graduation I'll have been to yet. I don't even think I was remotely sad about my high school graduation, even though I haven't seen some of my friends from there since! That was more of a "get me outta here!" type thing, where this is a "I don't want you to leave yet" thing. Sigh. I knew it had to happen, but nothing could prepare me for this.
So....
To all my friends- Thank you for making the past three years memorable. I have valued so many of your friendships, and I am going to miss you terribly next year (and this summer!). I wish you all the best of luck in the future, and I will think about our memories from the past for a long time. You guys are incredible.
And it's time for individual tributes!
Beth- Wow. I didn't really get to know you as well as I did until this year, and even then not really till the end, though we started to hang out more at the beginning. You're one of the most fun people to talk to, always have a smile, and is always willing to listen, no matter what the time. I'm so glad that you'll be around next year, I'm pretty sure I'll be seeing you a lot, so I'm excited about that! And hey! August isn't that far away...you guys best be coming to visit me!!
Dana- Some people have the ability to touch lives in a very subtle way. I admire you very much, and I have greatly enjoyed talking to you since I've gotten to know you. We've had a lot of fun over the past few years, even before I really got to know you as well as I did. I'm going to miss your randomness at random times, and sitting in the hallway or Beth's room just talking. I don't know if you're thrilled about possibly living in Ripon next year, but I hope you do so I can see you lots!!
Elizabeth- If it hadn't been for you and Beth, I might have actually gotten decent amounts of sleep and not wanted to fall asleep every single time I had my 8:00 class! But hey, what's the fun in going to bed at a decent hour, not to mention doing homework before it's due?? It's been a lot of fun hanging out with you late hours of the night...talking till 6am with everyone. I'm so glad we pledged together, it's been great ever since.
Maureen- You are one of the most genuinely nice people I've ever met in my entire life. I'm going to miss your smile and your postive outlook. It's been so much fun hanging out with you - mostly lately, but overall, it's been fun. You're a great listener and have a great sense of humor. I guess it kinda sucks, the events leading up to me hanging out with all of you more, but nevertheless, some good did have to come of it, and I'm glad I got to know you better because of it.
Jenny- Fun times with the crazy oboes! Wow, I didn't realize how much I missed you until you were in Paris last year, what am I going to do now? I have had so much fun since I got here, you've been absolutely awesome to hang out with, be in music stuff with, everything. Who am I supposed to make fun of people with now?? "It's like a mist of sound..." Well, whatever way to look at it, it's been great. I'm going to miss you so much next year, but you darn well better be keeping in touch, otherwise....:)
Sperber- When Leahann got me in touch with you during my freshman year, I had no idea that you'd end up being such a great friend and so much fun to talk to. I seriously can look back at the time I spent in your building this year, and be glad about many of the hours I spent talking to you. I definitely wasn't kidding when I said I'd miss talking to you almost as much as I'd miss the boy. Good luck with everything, make sure you remember me when you're famous so I can say I knew you when!
Matt- I've only known you for a month or so, but I already value your friendship a great deal. It's been a lot of fun hanging out with you in the past few weeks, plotting mad revenge against people (where's my brick?) and whatnot. It kinda sucks that I didn't get to know you till I did, but I'm definitely glad that I got to know you at all. It's been fun.
Ryan- I don't know even where to start. You're one of my "kindred spirits" here, one of the few. I've had more fun just talking to you and hanging out, I am going to miss you terribly next year, even though you're moving on to bigger and better things! I hope that we'll always stay in contact, because it's been so much fun these past few years. I'm going to miss you a lot next year!!
Buddy- My favorite (and only) little brother!! I can't count all the crazy times we've had, and I don't know what I'm going to do without you around next year!!! You're one of the people who's made me laugh numerous times, but I know that it hasn't all been a picnic since we've been friends. Who else has gotten me into so many mishaps (madrigal dresses and monk robes what?), but had so much fun at the same time? Not many people. I'm going to miss you so much!!
To my Choraliers seniors- You guys are AWESOME! Thanks for making the last three years memorable, Choraliers has been something I've had a blast with since I got here, and in many ways thanks to all of you. So, thanks for all your hard work and dedication, I'll miss you a lot!
And finally. Last but most certainly not least (I could go on for pages, and I probably will, so maybe stop reading if you don't want to barf).

Andy-
I don't even know where to begin. We have shared SO MUCH together over the past three years...starting as soon as I got here. I have always seen that you were an amazing person, and I had a great time hanging out and getting to know you over the course of my freshman year. We did have a slight misunderstanding, but it was nothing that kept me from wanting to be friends with you.
Sophomore year started and things had changed. I don't know what changed them, or why they did, but you have no idea how glad I am that they did change. I saw you in a completely different light than I had my freshman year, and I wanted to get to know you even better than I already did. I don't know what prompted me in the direction of your room that day, but you have no idea how glad I am that I did. It came out of nowhere, and as you well know, it sent me reeling in the other direction, but thank god you pursued it. Thank god you persisted.
Thus started the happiest and most memorable moments of college.
We had a lot of fun. There is no denying that whatsoever. I don't know if college would have been as much fun without you. Yes, we had a great deal of ups and downs, but it's expected. You stay with someone that long there are bound to be ups and downs. There still are. For a long time there seemed to be more downs than ups, more stupid unnecessary fights, but it was hard. The entire time I was just happy to have you. I always considered myself lucky to have what I had. There was never a day that I didn't thank god for you. You made me laugh, you made me cry, you made me feel so much for you.
There were so many fun moments. So much happiness. There were even times when we were fighting and would burst out laughing because the whole concept that we were mad at each other was so ridiculous it wasn't worth it. I still feel that way.
It's all that that made the end so hard.
Suddenly you weren't there at all, and I didn't know why. I didn't know if you had feelings for me, I didn't know what they were. I only knew that you were gone. And I was absolutely shattered. And I missed YOU. And then more ups and downs occured. I didn't know what to expect from day to day. It was hard, missing you that much, and thinking about you CONSTANTLY.
You say that I never went away, well, neither did you. There was NEVER a time that I wasn't thinking about you. No matter what, I was thinking about you. And I still am.
I dont know what my feelings are right now. I haven't let go of what we had yet. I do, however, know that I will miss you. Saying goodbye last night broke my heart all over again. I knew I had to do it, but I didn't want to. I'm only glad that we came to our senses finally, and actually talked to each other. I was miserable all week deep down, though I put on a happy front. I missed you so unbelievably much.
And now I face three months without you. I'm going to miss you terribly.
Maybe we're right for each other, but maybe we're not.
I don't want to say goodbye, but it's time. At least for now. I can't wait till August when I see you again. And I can't wait to hear from you during the summer.
I'm going to miss you so much.
And I know one thing, that is that I love you, Andy.
- posted by L. @ 9:38 AM