Cedar Point Stories part - um, 4, I think...How to Dress for Success
Just because I really like to pick on my first roommate (still referred to as Creepy McRoommate), this is how to dress successfully, according to her.
Please wear all of the below together for best results.

Short-sleeved brown velvet turtleneck:
Forgive me if I'm clueless, but I didn't know they made short-sleeved turtlenecks, especially velvet ones. And who wears velvet in the summer time. I guess it must be something that people who DON'T BATHE ANYWAY wear. Short-sleeved velvet turtleneck, that's the first article of clothes.

Brown shoes:
Okay, so not so terrible bad, except for the fact that they're lace-up with heels. I couldn't help but think of the Victorian ages and the American girl series. Agh.

Black socks:
Is there explanation for this? Black socks should be banned, except in the use with suits, pantsuits for females, etc. They should never be worn with shorts. Or brown shoes. Or both of the above.

The last articles of clothing can be switched...an either/or situation.

Tapered blue jeans with elastic waistband:
Enough said. We're 20, not 50.

OR

Neon green cotton elastic waist shorts:
I didn't know that such a horrible article of clothing even existed. I shudder at the thought that someone would actually wear these - in PUBLIC. They should be shot! But yes, my roommate did own a pair of shorts like these, and wore them frequently, with the above combination of clothes.

And people wondered why I didn't want to be seen in public with her.

So there you have it, how to dress for success!
- posted by L. @ 6:09 PM