Happy Christmas and a Merry New Year! Or something.
As promised, happiness is found in Christmas specials, and Christmas special quotes. What's my favorite Christmas special??? Yeah, couldn't tell you. I like pretty much all of them. Except for I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown, which I was unlucky enough to watch. Rerun is possibly the dumbest and most obnoxious Peanuts character of all time, so I think they should do us all a favor and eliminate him (Rerun Got Run Over by a Car, Charlie Brown). Anyway, moving on to happier thoughts...

Gonzo: Hello! Welcome to the Muppet Christmas Carol! I am here to tell the story!
Rizzo: And I am here for the food.
Gonzo: My name is Charles Dickens!
Rizzo: And my name is Rizzo the Rat...hey, wait a second. You're not Charles Dickens.
Gonzo: I am too!
Rizzo: No, a blue furry Charles Dickens who hangs out with a rat?
Gonzo: Absolutely!
Rizzo: Charles Dickens was a 19th century novelist...a genius!
Gonzo: Oh, you're too kind.
Rizzo: Why should I believe you??
Gonzo: Well because I know the story of a Christmas Carol like the back of my hand.
Rizzo: Prove it.
Gonzo: Alright, there's a little mole on my thumb, and a scar on my wrist from when I fell of my bicycle...
Rizzo: No, no, don't tell us your hand. Tell us the story!
Gonzo: Oh! The Marleys were dead, to begin with.
Rizzo: Pardon?
Gonzo: That's how the story begins, Rizzo! The Marleys were dead to begin with!
Rizzo: Ohhhh.
--Muppet Christmas Carol

Rex: Themeatically speaking, we'll be looking at Christmas carols as they relate to specific traditions of...
Herb: Yeah! Songs of Christmas trees & sacks of gifts, reindeer & jingling bells, holiday ballet, Santa Claus, universal joy and Christmas Snacks!
Rex: There is NOT a carol about snacks!
--Claymation Christmas

Jon: Hey, Dad?
Doc Boy: Hey, psst. Dad? You awake? DAD, YOU AWAKE?
Dad: I'm awake now. What do you buys want?
Jon: Is it time to open our presents yet?
Dad: It's 1:30 in the morning. No, it's not time to open presents yet!
Doc Boy: It IS Christmas morning now, you know.
Jon: Doc Boy has a point there, Dad. Any time after midnight is technically Christmas morning, you know.
Dad: GO TO BED!
Doc Boc: Alright. Pleasant dreams, DAD. It IS Christmas morning, you know.
Jon: I know that and you know that.
--A Garfield Christmas Special

Charlie Brown: Rats. Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there weren't a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?
--A Charlie Brown Christmas

Sam Eagle: You will now go forth into the world of BUSINESS. You will love BUSINESS. It is the American way...
Gonzo: *whispers into Sam's ear...*
Sam Eagle: Oh. It is the BRITISH way...
--Muppet Christmas Carol

Sam Eagle: And soon your life will be as solid as this very building!
**shelf collapses, statues, Gonzo & Rizzo go toppling to the floor**
Sam Eagle: Hmm. I've been meaning to fix that shelf.
--Muppet Christmas Carol

Here we come a waffle-ing among the leaves so green! Here we come a waffle-ing so fair to be seen. Love and joy come to you, and to you your waffle too! And God bless you and send you a happy new year...
--Claymation Christmas

Mom: And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Dad to read us our Christmas story.
Boys: Yay!!!
Mom: Which is entitled...
Mom & Boys: Binky...the Clown who saved Christmas.
--A Garfield Christmas Special

Schroeder: Here's the music I picked out for the Christmas play.
**plays Fur Elise**
Lucy: What kind of Christmas music is that??
Schroeder: Beethoven Christmas music!
Lucy: What's so great about Beethoven? Everyone talks about how "great" Beethoven was. Beethoven wasn't so great.
Scroeder: What do you mean, Beethoven wasn't so great??
Lucy: He never got his picture on bubblegum card. Have you ever seen his picture on a bubblegum card? Hmm?? How can you say someone is great if they've never had their picture on a bubblegum card?
Scroeder: Good grief.
--A Charlie Brown Christmas

Rizzo (after falling into the chimney): Hey! I'm stuck! Get me outta here!
Gonzo: I knew you weren't suited for literature!
--Muppet Christmas Carol

Rizzo: Oh, I fell down the chimney and landed on a flaming, hot goose!
Gonzo: You have all the fun.
--Muppet Christmas Carol

Garfield: Whoever invented Christmas trees should be drug out into the street and shot.
--A Garfield Christmas Special

Peppermint Patty: Why do they have to spoil Christmas by making us be in plays???
--It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown!

Jon: Garfield, I have a very important job for you. It's a dangerous job, but if you succeed, you'll be a hero. I want you to take this star up the tree and place it on the top.
Garfield: Climbing trees is my life, Sir. If I'm not back in an hour, send a banana cream pie after me. This should be a piece of cake. Never send a man to do a cat's job.
--A Garfield Christmas Special

Lucy: Ugh! I've been kissed by a dog! I have dog germs! Get some hot water! Get some disinfectant! Get some iodine!
Snoopy: Blaaaaaaahhhhhhh.
--A Charlie Brown Christmas

Rizzo: I don't think I can watch anymore.
Gonzo: Well, when you're right, you're right.
**turns to audience**
Gonzo: You're on your own folks, we'll see you at the finale.
--Muppet Christmas Carol

Marcy: And there were in the same country...
Peppermint Patty (as a sheep): Woof, meow, moo! Whatever.
**Marcy drags her off-stage**
Peppermint Patty: And a partridge in a pear tree....
--It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown!

Herb: Besides Rex, what could be more Christmas-y than a huge stack of syrup drenched waffles?
Rex: As usual Herb, history takes a back seat to your stomach!
--Claymation Christmas

Sally: Hockey stick!
Linus & Charlie Brown: Hockey stick?
**later**
Sally: I said hockey stick! Why did I say hockey stick? All I had to do was say Hark, and I said hockey stick!
--It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown

Garfield: Alright folks, just permit me one sentimental moment. Christmas. It's not the giving. It's not the getting. It's the loving. There. I said it. Now get outta here.
--A Garfield Christmas Special

Tiny Tim: God bless us, every one!
--Muppet Christmas Carol

Lucy: What a tree!!
*everyone laughs*
Charlie Brown: Rats!! I guess you were right Linus. I shouldn't have picked this little tree. Everything I do turns into a disaster. I guess I just don't know what Christmas is all about. Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about??
Linus: Sure Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about....Lights please. "And there were in the same country shepherds, abiding in the fields, keeping watch over their flocks by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them 'Fear not. For behold I bring you tiding of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day, a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you. You shall find the babe, wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel, a multitude of the heavenly host, evermore praising God, and saying 'Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth, peace, goodwill towards men.'" That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown.
--A Charlie Brown Christmas

Well, there you have it. My favorite Christmas specials/movies, all wrapped into one condensed version. Hope you enjoyed, have a happy holidays! :)

- posted by L. @ 3:26 PM