Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK.
So I don't have a cell phone. I'm in a relationship sort-of, but it doesn't really matter, because it sucks enough since I have no fucking clue what's going on. I reaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllly wish I hadn't wasted my breath trying to apologize for everything because it just made things worse.
Yeah, and anyone who thinks that my parents like me...guess what. YOU'RE WRONG! My parents don't like me. My parents told my entire family that they like it better when I'm not around. My parents don't give a rat's ass that my heart is broken. I was talking to my mom earlier (like, 5 minutes ago) and she walked away before I was even done talking. I'M SORRY IF I HAVE PROBLEMS! I'm sorry if my boyfriend and I broke up. And I'm even more sorry that I have to rely on them for sympathy. If that's sympathy, count me out! I wish more than anything I didn't have to turn to them for sympathy. It's not like I get any anyway. I was upset about Andy this morning, so I called my dad. And he yelled at me. Then after my cell phone broke (I dropped the goddamn thing and the screen cracked...or shattered), I asked my sister if I could borrow hers for like, 2 minutes and she put up a fit about it (make sure you don't use up all my minutes! i know you're going to talk to andy forever! blah blah...no, actually, since he's not going to answer the goddamn phone, i'll probably use it for 2 minutes so i can leave him a message and tell him to call the house phone), which she finally tossed in my general direction. Then my mom's comment was "you've been fighting a lot lately" and when I started venting, she walked away. I'm sorry I'm such a fucking burden. I wish I wasn't a burden. I wish I had nothing to do with them!!! And I don't have a fucking cell phone - which is going to be the worst next few days EVER. I fucking hate Cingular and their GSM network. No, we don't make digital phones anymore. Oh, but we'll let you have the one you used to have as long as you extend your contract for two years. No thanks. Or I can get a GSM phone. Hello, it doesn't work in Ripon. Yeah, we've been over that. I could kill for having my phone break...just kill. Well, it's not like it matters. I could probably pay the bill on that thing for the next however many months because now that I'm not with Andy - it's not like I have anyone to call anymore. This sucks, this sucks, this sucks! And shit, if this breakup is 'different' (his words, not mine) than the last one, than I'd rather have the last one!!
I wish I wasn't at home...I wish there was at least someone around here that didn't think I was a pain in the ass. First my boyfriend (or ex boyfriend), and now my parents. I wish I was anywhere but here.

- posted by L. @ 3:20 PM