I hate shallow people.
I was reading an article in Cosmo the other day that seriously pissed me off. It was talking about breast implants, and how friggin fourteen/fifteen/sixteen year old girls are getting them. FOURTEEN! Are you SERIOUS??? I stopped that whole developing thing at age NINETEEN! NINETEEN! Like as in, TWO YEARS AGO! Okay, so at FOURTEEN, the LAST thing on my mind was to get bigger boobs, thank you! I refuse to reveal my size at this point (though some of you more shrewd eyes probably can guess), but at age 14, I was perfectly happy with a B or something. Seven years later, I'd kill for a B. Right now, I am going to list off a number of ways why being smaller is, in fact, better:

*Have you ever tried bra shopping?? It's fucking impossible. Eight times out of ten, you can't just walk into some random department store and buy a bra without either a-hunting around for three hours, or b-not finding one period. I was in Kohls a couple months ago on the seemingly-simple quest of finding a white bra to wear that wasn't a million dollars. It took me a fucking hour. AN ENTIRE HOUR OF MY LIFE THAT I WASTED TRYING TO FIND A BRA TO WEAR! Whenever I found them, they were either a-ugly. b-ugly. c-had straps as wide as the Panama Canal. d-ugly. e-not sexy AT ALL. f-UGLY. I think you get my point. So, I finally find about four that aren't ugly, old-lady like, etc. Yeah, that's it. Only four. In the dressing room, the one I liked the best ended up NOT FITTING. DAMNIT!!!!!!! Another one was ruled out because it was ugly once worn. So, I ended up with only two choices an HOUR LATER. ARGUHHHHHHHHH!
*What's a tank top? I mean, can you wear them? NO! Built-in bras? YEAH RIGHT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I laugh at the mere mention of those. So my shirt size is medium, and the built-in bra tank top has the built-in bra ending somewhere that's nowhere near useful for a bra. And good luck finding a bra with straps that don't look horrible. There is no such thing as an attractive, wide-strap tank top. And if there is, let me know, because I have yet to find one since like, 9th grade (someone please tell Old Navy to bring that style back!!!! whine, whine).
*Dress shopping! Im-fucking-possible. It's not so bad anymore now that floor-length isn't in style. But shit, when I was going to prom in 2000, it took me for-fucking-ever to find a prom dress! I'm only 5'1, so length was a factor. I don't have a small chest, so having a big enough chest was also a factor. However, they don't usually bank on having short, big-chested girls. *curses* So you need to make sure you're NOT falling out of a small or medium dress, but you're drowning in the large/extra large. In the end, I had to settle for a dress that was too long, but fit everywhere else (waist, chest)...and settle for three-inch heels.
*Then when you find the formal dress, you have to find a bra to go with it. Good-bye, backless. Good-bye strapless. Good-bye most. Hello evil corset bra of DOOM. Which you can't just buy anywhere either. You have to buy it at Fredrick's of Hollywood or something and have it come like, two days AFTER formal. And when it does get there and you do have it, you have to make sure you can spend an entire night without breathing. So much for dinner.
*Lingerie! That's another frustrating, sucky part about having big boobs! Most lingerie is bought by bra size. Strangely enough, the most common lingerie sizes are one-too-small for me. So you have to search EVERYWHERE and are extremely limited. Oooh, Victoria's Secret. Nope, not for me!!! DAMNIT! So you end up mail-ordering it, and praying that it fits when you get there, and also praying for a damn good return policy if not...it's a good thing men are simple creatures, and can be perfectly happy without lingerie.
*Let's talk about evil things like the Pill. As you may know, the Pill makes small-chested girls happy, because most likely, they grow an entire bra size. Hooray for them. I would prefer that my boobs DON'T grow, thank you, so that already limits the pill options. Low-estrogen pills aren't as effective either (wasn't there a big stink about how the Ortho-TriCyclen LOW was considerably less foolproof that the regular dosage? Yeah. That sucks. I'm not on that pill, and I never was, just for the record). But seriously, if I relied on the Pill, I most likely would have been in big trouble, oh, a long time ago, since what I AM on IS low-dosage Pills. I might add that it hasn't kept 'em any smaller either...or even really at the normal size. It just doesn't make them grow AS MUCH.
*Oh yeah, and simple-minded, shallow boys! I was sort-of seeing (for lack of any other way to put it) a guy this summer for a few weeks, and I think he spent more time staring at my chest than my face. He said I was cute...like he would know! I'm not saying all boys who stare at my boobs are bad, but be subtle about it, please.

Anyway, my point is that priorities change. If you get breast implants at the age of fifteen, what are you going to do when you're 25? When I was fifteen, I was much smaller. I thought I had finished growing at seventeen, but in reality, it wasn't till nineteen. So what if I had gotten implants at age fifteen? Huh? Do you really just want to take them out? I mean, if having big boobs is a big priority at age fifteen, wait even just four years, till age nineteen. You've grown up a hell of a lot, both physically, and mentally, and if you still want them four years later, you're probably done growing, and go for it. But in high school? Know that there are a million other things you could be worrying about.
I can only hope that this horrible stupidity will go away! Besides, who wants implants anyway? I hear they're kinda creepy, like they don't move AT ALL. Ewww! How is that attractive?? :) I know that they say the grass is always greener on the other side, but I can't really think of any reason why you shouldn't be happy with what you got (medical problems aside). I guess I could understand if you were like, 22 years old and flat as a pancake, or, on the other side, if you were huge, and wanted a reduction. Either way, be happy with what you've got. If you're small, and the guys don't pay attention to you because of that, realize they're probably shallow and only want girls with boobs. Do you want that kind of guy anyway? Or if you have big boobs and that's all that guys look at, you'll find someone who can look past it, or won't realize or something. Or he'll be happy with what he's got, and praise you all the time, which isn't so bad either. The moral of my story is that, big isn't necessarily better.

- posted by L. @ 1:59 AM