A break from the usual updates...
I spent a significant amount of time men-bashing periodically, and once upon a time, I declared I would write a guide to understanding women (which has never happened. and probably never will. but it might. someday.), but as that never happened...I now leave you with the following instructions for men during that time of the month (as well as a giggle for women, because it's so damn true! heehee):

The Hormone Hostage
The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!
For that, this is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

Dangerous: What's for dinner?
Safer: Can I help you with dinner?
Safest: Where would you like to go for dinner?
Ultrasafe: Here, have some chocolate.

Dangerous: Are you wearing that?
Safer: Gee, you look good in brown.
Safest: Wow! Look at you!
Ultrasafe: Here, have some chocolate.

Dangerous: What are you so worked up about?
Safer: Could we be overreacting?
Safest: Here's fifty dollars.
Ultrasafe: Here, have some chocolate.

Dangerous: Should you be eating that?
Safer: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Safest: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
Ultrasafe: Here, have some chocolate.

Dangerous: What did you do all day?
Safer: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
Safest: I've always loved you in that robe!
Ultrasafe: Here, have some more chocolate.

So, men, that's what to say/not say at that time of the month. Just in case you needed some help. Which I'm assuming that most of you do. Heh, you didn't really think I could go an entire post without making some sort of crack, did you?
- posted by L. @ 10:08 PM