State Pride?? Maybe...
Today, while at work, my day was somewhat lackluster (as usual for a Friday), so I perused the Journal Sentinel in hopes that maybe I would find something interesting on one of the recent cases that has been seemingly plaguing Milwaukee: the missing boys, the Frank Jude trial, the kid that was beaten to death while waiting for a bus....you know, the usual craptastic Milwaukee crimes that make news headlines.
But alas, there seemed to be little information of interest in any of the aforementioned cases...two arrests in the beating case, people of interest are presenting mixed stories in the trial, and the boys are, alas, still missing.
But loyal blog-fans, to take your mind of the gruesome news stories of Wisconsin's finest (or most scum-bag filled, depending on which way you look at it) cities, I'd like to take the time to point out that Wisconsin, while it has really lost it's claim to fame with being the Dairy State (bite me, California), and Milwaukee has lost it's claim to being the City of Beer (a big fuck you goes out to St. Louis for that one, and it's production of Budweiser)...never fear Wisconsin fans. Out new claim to fame has been established.
That's right.
We are the kings of poisoning rats.
Stop laughing and compose yourself.
Really.
I'm not kidding.
Go ahead, click on the blog title, bringing you to a Journal Sentinel article, confirming what I have just said.
I for one, am proud to be a resident of the state that can claim leadership to the "rodenticide manufacturing capital" of the United States.
I mean, seriously, there will never be another case of the village of Hamlin if Wisconsin keeps up its production of rat-poison (don't know what I'm talking about? Brush up on your folk tales or Peanuts specials). Though rat poison is not nearly as amusing a guy (or beagle) dancing around with a flute/recorder/pan pipe in a funny looking hat with a trail of rats following behind.
But seriously.
I'm not, anyway.
Good thing I don't plan on moving elsewhere in the country for a temporary amount of time anymore. Especially since people totally don't even know where Wisconsin is, they think we talk funny, and are often found making fun of cheeseheads (thank you, Dogma).
But instead of cheeseheads, Packers, or the dairy state (and don't forget frostbite!), we can now be famous for Wisconsin Cheddar Cheese.
Formerly known as rat poison.
So long Dairy State, hello Pied Piper of the Midwest.
- posted by L. @ 12:40 AM