Where did the sheep get tap shoes????
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Friday, April 30, 2004
 
I'm not sure how much longer this can go on...
I can't wait to get OUT of here! I'm going to be setting up an interview for an unnamed location for this summer hopefully tomorrow - or Monday at the latest! Keep your fingers crossed for me, I think that's what I need...a job out of town. Hell, out of state! It'll be great....I just hope it works out. I'm going to be on top of things, because I need some time away. I think it'll make me heal.
Of course, if I keep fucking myself over like I have been doing recently, then I'm not sure. However, it's a two-way street. I know that things will work out in the end, but how they will work out, I'm not exactly sure. Either way, keep me in your thoughts. Some days are better than others. This morning was good. This afternoon, yeah, not so good. Hmm.
On a completely different note, Springfest is TOMORROW! And it's not supposed to rain (crosses fingers)! And I get to see James! I have to miss his performance though. Stupid rehearsal!! I will be hauling ass up here after rehearsal...hopefully it's not a long one!!! Rar! But it'll be worth it to see James! Yay!!!!
Gotta go work a jazz concert now, and then "room lottery" (we did NOT get even remotely screwed over - this RULES! so I already know where I'm living! And I pick first!)! Yay!!!
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Thursday, April 29, 2004
 
When in doubt...
...write a blog!
Also applicable when wanting to procrastinate, when wanting to blah blah blah...when wanting to avoid doing just about anything!
So the news came in the other day that Union Pulse is playing at Springfest! I'm SO psyched!!! Union Pulse (see semi-review of their music sometime in January?) is a rock trio (I guess you could call it that?) out of Milwaukee...and I totally graduated with their lead singer!! I'm SO excited! I haven't seen him since the summer before freshman year (we hung out a few times while he was being a camp counselor in the northwoods), so I'm totally psyched to see his band play live, not to mention see how he's doing!!
The funny thing is that I didn't see their band announced anywhere on campus, but both my dad and my friend Sonja (who goes to beloit) told me that Union Pulse was playing at Ripon. Go figure ;)
Either way, it's exciting. Now hopefully the weather cooperates!!!!

P.S. Why is it that good conversations come out of drunk people??? Things make so much more sense with people are drunk - probably because they don't tell lies! Hehehe.
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I don't know what's going on....
Arguh.
That's all I can say about today. Arguh. I never know what's going on, but lately things have gotten just all that much more confusing. *sigh*
I want to get out of here, but at the same time, I don't know. I'm tired of feeling up and down, great one day, crappy the next. I wish it were summer! I still don't know what I'm doing this summer, but I'm working on figuring it out. Arguh. Today's not that crappy of a day, but yesterday was overall better.
I wish I had a car, because then I'd go for a nice long drive. Actually, it's probably good I don't have a car, because I have many things to do, and driving would be yet another way for me to put said things off, again.
I have a paper that was due two weeks ago, and a power point presentation due tomorrow. I think my topic is going to be kind of exciting, I just lack the motivation to actually do the presentation. And then I have to write a paper about it later. Joy.
While I'm off on a limb about my power point presentation, that brings me to my next rant. Not that I actually want to write this paper now, but seriously. Does it make ANY sense to have the presentation due on April 30 (or whatever day you happened to sign up for) and that paper not due till May 10?? Pretty sure it's a lot easier to derive the presentation from the paper, rather than the other way around. I changed my topic sort-of too, and I don't exactly remember what my thesis statement was supposed to be. Oh well. Hmm. Okay, there's my rant.
I want to spend the summer far far away!! I'm still working on it, there's still hope!! Keep your fingers crossed for me!!!
In the meantime, however, I gotta get all this work done. I have a study break for Delta Psi tonight, it should be fun - hooray! There will be ice cream and thursday night TV, how much better does it get???? Hopefully people show up....
We still haven't picked rooms, which is like, SUPER annoying. I guess it really doesn't matter all that much, because it's not like we're moving in until like, the 22nd of August or something, but hey, I'd like to know where I'm living next year!!!! We should know by tomorrow, so that's good.
Anyway, I'm going to go to the library, hooray for me. Then I get to work on my power point, which means time in (where else?) Rodman! Yay! Hmmm.
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Wednesday, April 28, 2004
 
Quotes of the Day...
Ambre: And then I want him to wear my underwear!
Elizabeth: Yeah, you're kinda weird.

Lauren: Yeah, unless you forget to put the mattress pad on your bed, then they charge you fifteen bucks!
Ambre: Wait, you need to put a dollar on your mattress pad?
Elizabeth: Yeah, and then you leave a dollar under the mattress pad, and the magic bed fairy comes and takes it and leaves you fifteen!
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Tuesday, April 27, 2004
 
Totally unproductive day...oh well!
So I set out with great aspirations of having a productive day, but oops. It's 10:07 now (according to my computer clock), and yeah, pretty sure there has been little productivity. However, I did accomplish some things today, so that was happy! I got up at 11:00 (whoops!) and rushed around to get to the philosophy senior sem presentation with Beth (moral support, you know) at 11:15. So I was pretty proud of myself, because yeah, totally didn't mean to oversleep. Even though I did go to bed at 4. Whoops.
After the presentation, and then lunch, then I came back here, then ran some errands, got some food, blah blah blah. I was supposed to go out for ice cream or something with the ex, but that didn't happen, oh well. There's always another day. I can't say I wasn't disappointed, but I know there will be another day, so I'm happy.
I did go to work tonight early, but there was little productivity tonight. I listened to music, made up a poster, talked to Steph, Beth, Tom, Chris, anyone else who was in the resource center. It was a very boring night, which ideally would have gotten me to do some work, but yeah. I sort of did work, but not enough. Oh well. Now I'm paying for it, and I didn't get a chance to go on a walk with Hans, so that sucked. Hopefully this weekend, as the year is winding down FAR too quickly!!!
Okay, I need to make some dents in this paper, then go sort-of study for the test tomorrow...but really, I don't care about the test, since the grade I get will not affect my grade in the class! So yeah...don't care! Hoopa! :)
I talked to my mommy for an hour or so today, so that was happy!!! After we'd talked for a while, she was like oh I have to go real fast, but I'll call you back, so I gave her the number for the resource center, and she was like "gee, you have it rough, you're getting paid to sit and talk to me on the phone!" Yup, pretty much! Hehehe.
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For some odd reason...
I find it absolutely necessary to write a blog at this hour of the night, though it's fast approaching 3am! Hoopa!
Things are, well, interesting. There are only 19 days (NO!!!!!!!!!!) until graduation...but things are definitely shaping up for the better. I'm excited to see how the next 19 days go, because things are definitely going to go well. I'm nervous, but very happy. And truly happy. I love the ex-boy, I'm not drunk but I mean it! I love him! But I also very much so love being single. Can't beat the freedom!!!!!!!!! And maybe it was time to take a break from the committed relationship. It's taken two weeks, five days and however many hours :) to realize this, but things are going to be great. We're passed the weird, awkward stage because things have already changed. And you know what? That's great. It'll be interesting to see how the rest of the year shapes up...though there's hardly any time left in it! Which is SAD!!! *sigh* I'm going to miss this year. Despite the fact that so much of it sucked, I'm going to miss it!!!! Especially the seniors! But it'll also mean that I'm just that much closer to moving on, and that's also very exciting. And things are going to work out, because they always do. I don't know how things are going to end up, but I have a pretty good feeling about it. And anyone that knows me at all knows how much I rely on my gut instinct. Things are going to be okay. And that is what is making me happy.

P.S. In reference to the previous blog...that drink and a half was more like four drinks, based on the UV content in them! So there! I'm not as much of a lightweight as I thought! HA!
P.P.S. Emily - yes! We must! it will be great fun! :)
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Sunday, April 25, 2004
 
Drunken Blogging!
Wow, I totally just published that one without even writing anything. You'll have to excuse the typing and spelling as well since I'm kind of drunk right now! I have to admit it feels weird to be drinking without Andy because I haven't drank without him since my freshman year when I got way too drunk and stoned out of my mind and made out with a senior (who will remain unnamed!)! Yeah, since then I've pretty much only drank with Andy...it's kind of sad to be drinking without him. But hooray for Amanda and Shannon and Tara and Jenny and Tim and Beth and Beth and Paul (the Big Dick Man!) and whoever else may have been there, I'm pretty sure that's it, but yeah, I'm too drunk to notice right now anyway! Wow. Who would have thought it would be a drink and a half to put me under?? This is kinda bad. Yikes. Anyway, I'm going to go pass out now in Amanda's room...so catch you in the morning! :)
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Saturday, April 24, 2004
 
Good News!
Hoopa! For those of you who may or may not have been paying attention to certain things that have been going on in my family for the last two months (well longer, but things started to turn for the worse about two months ago, if you wanna know ASK!), things have turned again, hopefully for the better!!!
My grandparents are now at my house, and things are in the works for visiting the assisted living home tomorrow!! So please, keep your fingers crossed for me!!!!!
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Friday, April 23, 2004
 
Wow...a sad day indeed!
So yesterday, in my realization that I have been severely lacking in my keeping up with my favorite bands, I headed to the Cousteau website in hopes to find out that perhaps they, like Jump Little Children, will be/did release a new CD!
Sadly, I got to the website, and the only thing there was a notice that Cousteau has DISBANDED!!!!!!!! and that we should check out the sites of some of the members (like Davey Ray Moor) who have continued performing. Needless to say, I am absolutely crushed.
For those of you who didn't know, Cousteau may have quite possibly been my favoritest British band since the Beatles & Rolling Stones (and they were actually from MY generation!!!!). I'm heartbroken that they have split. Hopefully Davey Ray Moor will continue on his musical pursuits, because he was my favorite member of the group anyway. But *sigh*....no more Cousteau.
Oh yeah, and upon further perusal of the favorite band/singer websites, Sam Shaber is going to be in Madison! Hooray! Except she'll be there tonight. Boo!!!

Current Music: Cousteau and Sirena - both Cousteau albums.
Sam Shaber - El Dorado

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Thursday, April 22, 2004
 
Song of the Day...Week...Month...you know!
An angel's smile is what you sell
You promise me heaven, then put me through hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passion's a prison, you can't break free

You're a loaded gun
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name

Paint your smile on your lips
Blood red nails on your fingertips
A school boy's dream, you act so shy
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye

You're a loaded gun
There's nowhere to run
No one can save me
The damage is done

Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name

--Jon Bon Jovi ~ You Give Love a Bad Name

Sadly, that pretty much sums it up. :(
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Wednesday, April 21, 2004
 
Who knew?
And you wouldn't think that you could accumulate that much stuff in someone's room that's not your own...
But hey, it's definitely possible, as I found out today.
Hopefully this will make things easier, having my stuff back!! But I don't really think it's gotten so much easier, in fact, as of now, it's just made things more difficult.
Oh yeah, and here's the story of my life.

I was so high I did not recognize
The fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane
Never to return again
But always in my heart

This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore

I tried my best to feed her appetite
Keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied
Kept playing love like it was just a game
Pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again

This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore

I'll fix these broken things
Repair your broken wings
And make sure everything's alright
My pressure on your hips
Sinking my fingertips
Into every inch of you
Cause I know that's what you want me to do

This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore

This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And my heart is breaking in front of me
She said goodbye too many times before

This love has taken its toll on me
she said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice cause I won't say goodbye anymore

This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
Her heart is breaking in front of me
And i have no choice cause I wont say goodbye anymore

--Maroon 5 ~ This Love

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Tuesday, April 20, 2004
 
QOTD:
"Those were some interesting chords there in the Bartok..."
--Chris to me after hearing me bang on the piano due to the frustration I had in continually messing up the same part over and over again.
Heehee!!!
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Monday, April 19, 2004
 
Dear Netscape, You also suck! :)
I woke up this morning a little on the early side, and had no idea what the weather was like outside. I have had the weather for Ripon bookmarked practically since the day I got back to Ripon after getting this new computer. Unfortunately, upon opening Netscape, I discovered that ALL of my bookmarks on Netscape are GONE! Luckily, the day did not get worse from there, though I was a little worried at first, because discovering that all of your bookmarks are mysteriously gone is yucky way to start the day! I have no idea what happened!! Stupid Netscape!!
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Sunday, April 18, 2004
 
Dear Exclusive Company, You suck.
After our fabulous band concert today, my mother gave me all the mail I've accumulated this week (which was a lot, weird). The first thing I saw was a postcard from the Exclusive Company (a wonderful CD store chain that I frequent at home, especially the one on Farwell & Brady...). The last time I was at Exclusive, I special-ordered a Stravinsky CD (Le Baiser de la Fee). They told me they would send me a postcard when it came in, and so I waited around for said CD to get in. And waited, and waited, and waited. It occured to me somewhat recently that I still didn't have the CD, so I had planned to go to Exclusive sometime in the beginning of summer to figure out what was up. But no, I got the postcard today, saying "Sorry, We can not fill your order." What??? It took them, what, six months??? HELLO! That was October! This is April. Rar. Oh well, guess I'm going to have to order it online. Rats. :)
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Saturday, April 17, 2004
 
Screw You...
Well, at least the song, anyway....

You wanna know what I've been doing
Since you left me with a broken heart
I get the feeling that you're hoping
That I'm still miserable, still torn apart
You wanna know what I've been up to
Since you walked out and turned me upside down
Well, I won't lie to you

Chorus
I've been going out, having fun, making friends
Screw you
Going places, running wild, meeting people
It's true

Doing things I couldn't do
All those years I spent with you
Never thought forgetting you
Would be so easy

You only come back when you want to make sure
That you're still in control
Now and then you have to let me know
That you own my heart and soul
And you don't care what I've been doing
Since you've left me, I'll tell you anyway
And I won't lie to you

Chorus

One thing you can do for me:
Get out of my memory
I never thought that being free
Would feel so joyful

You say this is how our relationship ends
We can still be friends
I don't believe I've ever heard
Such utter bullshit

Well, I've been going out, having fun, making friends
Screw you
Going places, running wild, meeting people
Screw you
Going out, getting drunk, having sex
Screw you
Going out, writing checks, using your bank card
Screw you
Going out, having fun, making friends
Screw you
--Pat McCurdy
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And.....this sucks!
I HATE not sleeping! It's starting to be a huge pain in the ass!! Sleep is quite possibly the most wonderful thing in the world, because who wouldn't want to slip away into a carefree dream state??? Heehee.
My mom and I talked about things I should do for myself today...but she doesn't exactly understand that everything I want, I can't exactly have. For example, I'd love to transfer, but that would be losing a LOT of time, and I don't, frankly, want to do that...because I put in enough time here already, thankyouverymuch!!! :) So I'm going to have to stick it out another year/semester, whatever, but UGH, I have to get through the summer first. Summers are some of the most difficult times for college students, especially when they have to go home, because your friends aren't around, and whatnot. It's kinda sucky...summer break shouldn't be allowed to be three months long! I'm proposing a ban on long summers, because, yeah, they suck. We should implement something like quarters, and have like, two months of school, one month off, two months of school, one month off, etc...yeah! That'd be sweet. Just as long as we have August off, because it's hella hot then. :) Yes, we should definitely have that plan!!!! It would rule! And make me happy! And a lot of other people that I know. I'm not exactly sure how we'd work this yet, but I'll figure it out. Hmmm...
Relay was last night, it was fun, but I was sadly melancholy and reminiscent the whole night. It was nice being around the girls and talking and whatnot. But it was still hard. It's getting easier, I guess. But I haven't been able to come up with a miracle cure for a broken heart yet. But I'm working on it, so once I come up with it, I'll let everyone know! Ahh, the way to make my millions! :) Time is not a miracle cure, it takes too long. Heehee.
Maybe I'll put my room in some semblence of an order today! Hurrah! Then I can actually put my laundry into my laundry basket, instead of just throwing it on the floor, since both of my laundry baskets are filled - with clean clothes. I just haven't gotten around to hanging/folding/sorting/etc. I should also vacuum. But I'll probably do that lataaaaaaaaaaa.
Tonight's the plays, then a partay on the floor (shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....)! Hoopa!
And in the immortal words of someone intelligent, this too shall pass. If it's not happy, it's not the end.
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Friday, April 16, 2004
 
Yikes!
Okay, I'm updating again, whoa! Only the third time since last week, I know, it's crazy.
My positive outlook determination is going well, so far, haven't had too much to complain about lately! Huzzah! Well, there's one thing, but we won't go into that. And even the most positive person would complain about such things.
I did find out some disturbing news tonight, but the source wasn't necessarily in the best of mind frames, so maybe he was not telling the truth. If it WAS the truth, it pissed me off. A LOT! But if not, then I can hopefully let my mind settle. I just can't understand how something like that would happen! ARGUH! This needs to go away. NOW!
Anyway.
Relay for Life is tonight/tomorrow morning. I'm absolutely exhausted, so it should be interesting. It'll be most interesting to see me at, say, 5am in the morning! I'll probably be falling down with lack of sleep. This may push me into getting more than 4 hours at a time though. And when I say four hours at a time, I mean, of my 24 hour days, I sleep for 4 hours, and am awake for 20. I'm not sure how much longer this can go on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm at the point where I want to cry because I'm so tired, but I can't. That's not the answer to anything...
I guess my feeling right now is that I'm hoping that the end of the school year will just come quickly. I don't need to be around this anymore, and I don't want to be either. Doing whatever for the whole summer will make me feel better. I just have to keep thinking that! Things will get better, I know they will!!!! Things always work out in the end. :)
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Wednesday, April 14, 2004
 
Still on Hiatus...
But I had to post to let everyone know I'm still here!
Happiness goes out to Joe (despite the computer issue of tonight!) because he's the BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) Everyone should have such a great friend! And Brandon too, despite the lack of paint, because he makes me laugh.
So Joe, here's my tribute to you: Thanks for the laughs. Thanks for the garlic bread toast. Thanks for the stuffed bunny, even though it's really from your mom (who is also the best!). Thanks for the sanity drive around Milwaukee. Thanks for Alterra. And thanks for being there, it means more to me than you may ever know.

Changing the subject completely, I did hear from Steve! Hoopa!!!! That's very exciting, because Steve was the driving force behind my sanity at State Fair! But not this year, because he sucked, and didn't work when I did! Boo! But hey, Steve called! Yeah!!
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Saturday, April 10, 2004
 
Blog Hiatus...
Sorry blog fans, due to circumstances in my life, there will most likely been very little blogging for a while. I don't know how long, but maybe check back once a week or so, if you're still interested, I hope I won't lose all my readers. So, maybe there will be something, but no promises.
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Thursday, April 08, 2004
 
An award? For me? Gee, that's swell!
So today, I took a pleasant trip to the mailroom (no, I'm still waiting for my textbook to arrive from Kazakhstan), and upon opening my mailbox, discovered an official looking piec of paper with my full name at the top. Woohoo! It sounds so professional. Then it said "Congratulations!" Upon unfolding said piece of paper, it has been revealed that I am supposed to attend the awards ceremony so I can get my award. Unless, it's the slackers award for homework, the messiest room award, the "most likely to die because of the carbon monoxide that is infiltrating my room through my heater" award, or the "i hate being in college why can't i be a senior?" award, I have no clue what it is that I have won. I didn't apply for anything because, yeah. As far as I know, I wasn't nominated for anything. There is no honor society for my major (at least not my major major), and my other major, well, erm, hmm, there isn't anything honorable about my grades in that one. So I'm baffled. I guess I just have to wait until said ceremony to find out what it is. The last time I was invited to an awards ceremony, I skipped it. I think I was the only person who did. Oh well. Didn't care then, don't really care now. Hmm. Well, only two weeks to wait.
And I'm brainstorming ideas for summer, and I think I may have found one! But I'm not sure. So I'll have to work on that one. But I need to actually make some money this summer, not just bum around and go to work every now and then. Yarf.
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Wednesday, April 07, 2004
 
Holy Wednesday!
Well, there ain't nothing holy about this Wednesday, though it's rumored tomorrow is a Christian holiday. Humph. Maybe the holiday on Friday should save me from my jazz test of doom. Does my jazz history and romantic music professor (who is one and the same) have anything better to do this weekend? Isn't it a holiday? Is he going to spend the whole Easter weekend grading papers?? Sounds like a blast! Speaking of weekends, poop, it's Wednesday already. That means I get to go home this weekend. Yay. Yawn. I wonder if my sister will be home. Hmm.
I need to find a job for the summer. I absolutely do NOT want to go home. Arguh! I don't want to go home because I really do not want to work at columbia. Work is a term that should be used loosely as well, as it's been quite some time since I've showed my face at Columbia, and god knows they've probably made more cuts since the last time I was there, which will equal even fewer hours. I'm getting desperate. I don't want to work there at all! Maybe I can snag a job in town, and fanagle (is that a word? and if so, is it spelled correctly?) a summer of research or something. Hmmm...

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Tuesday, April 06, 2004
 
Erm..hmm...trying to figure out what to do this summer besides work in hell and write my opera...any ideas? Any other job options available?? Looking into it...merrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrf! I don't want to work at Columbia of DOOM again!! Gahhhhhhhhhhhhh!! I don't want to spend another year broke!!!! Not to mention Columbia might possibly give me a nervous breakdown...and that would just not be good! And my aspiring opera-writing career probably won't get me any form of income, because I don't think I'll be making it big at the Metropolitan Opera of New York or the Lyric Opera of Chicago, or hell, even the Florentine. Not yet, anyway! :)
Speaking of my opera, I'm trying to find a plot right now. It seems rather silly that I'm finding a plot, but hmm, gotta have some semblence of a plot. My main plot is going to be that Buddy is plotting (haha, get it?) to kill Tom, but I'm still not sure why! If you have any ideas, please leave a comment with your name. I have some ideas for completely random scenes, especially one involving pyramid building (ha! and it has nothing to do with ancient Egypt or the Aztecs or Teotihuacan or anything except oboes...mwa!).
Anyway, wondering if the water is turned back on and not brown & gross, otherwise thinking about taking a field trip to Tri-Dorms with my shampoo and taking a much-needed shower. Hmmm...
Then off to study study study because the styles of DOOM test is tomorrow! YIKES!
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I am absolutely, positively, 100% DREADING this summer!!! I was looking forward to it so much, and now....now I'm dreading it. I don't want to go back to Columbia!! I don't want to work there anymore! I hardly make anything there anyway! I doubt I'll be able to cover my cell phone bill and books for next year working there again! I absolutely need to get some other form of employment, and I'm sorry but I somehow don't think that going home will allow me to do so...
Unless...
I transfer! Hmmm...
Sounding better and better every minute!
UWM, here I come???
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Sunday, April 04, 2004
 
Formal:
Food was good.
Trivia machine was good.
Perkins after formal was good.
Everything else was iffy.
I'm sure I'm pissing people off by this.
But really, does it matter at this point?
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Saturday, April 03, 2004
 
Tonight is formal! Woohoo! (obligatory excitement)

My room is making me ill!!! I'm not one hundred percent sure about this, but UGH! I can't walk into my room for more than 10 minutes without getting sickeningly dizzy. It's starting to piss me off! ARGUH!!! The thing is, that I don't get dizzy anywhere else (at least not anymore, and not to the same extent) so I'm thinking maybe my ceiling tiles are moldy, and it's making me sick, then getting on my clothes and continuing to make me sick! Score one for the college. I think I'll put mold of death in my opera.
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So...due to overwhelming response to my opera ending, I'm going to write an entire opera!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO! Don't worry, I won't have time to write it for a while, but do look forward to it!!!
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Thursday, April 01, 2004
 
And now, a tribute to my inner American Pie geek!!!

So this one time, at orchestra, Stephanie had to play an E, and I had to play an F-sharp. So we played our notes, and then we had to repeat that part again, so we decided to switch notes, so we did, and the director didn't notice, and it was so funny!!!

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